No Weapon Needed If You Just Keep Driving Like You Do…

From Mermaid to Marsupial

A few month ago I noticed the medicine man from Niger on UN-Drive hawking a cure-it-all liquid, suspiciously looking like urine, under a banner of a mermaid. He was absent from his place on UN Drive in downtown Monrovia for some time, but came back a few days ago. The liquid still has the same vile color, but the mermaid has transformed mysteriously into a kangaroo.
And while the look and smell the same, Kangaroo seems to be much stronger and more useful. True, it does not help you to become “Best in Football” as Mermaid did, but it still helps against most other illnesses cured by Mermaid.  Both are obviously a great cure against gonorrhea , even though the spelling is slightly different.  Period, onion, bad stomach are also taken care of by both. But in addition to that Kangaroo has the great advantage of helping “Man and Woman who can´t born”, cure “Diabetique” and “Baby Walk”. But its main selling point must be that it makes you “To be cleaver”.
Well, maybe the medicine man should drink some of his own liquid then.

Check out the two new entries in the Gobachop Files !

The Importance Of Imported Chinese Junk – 3

And now for 1 Million Dollar : Can you spot the original ?

(photos of Floshler and Floscher taken at the same Indian run “hardware store” in Monrovia, whose proprietors see nothing wrong with hawking these cheap junk knock-offs on Fischer. If at least the Chinese copiest could at least agree on ONE spelling) 

Murphy`s Law Application In Liberia

Leaving aside that the fatherhood of Murphy is less established then assumed (check the Wikipdedia entry) it can be agreed that it is generally formulated along the lines of “If anything can go wrong, it will”.
After my long and varied exposure to Goboachop in Liberia I think there actually is a local version of Murphy´s Law:
If anything can be gobachoped, it will be gobachoped.

How Did The Mouse Get Into The Coleman ?

With electricity rather fickle and unreliably these days in the compound I was forced to get out my trusty old  Coleman Dual Fuel last week again. I had wondered a few days before why the mantles had broken off  but had put it down to insects. But when I proceeded to lit the second Coleman (number 1 can be observed burning bright in the background), I suddenly noticed that it was inhabited.  
The mouse must have crept in though the vents on top. Like a fish trap, the vents are easy to slip in, but much harder to get out. So the poor mouse was trapped inside, and probably would have starved to death if the power had not quit. I liberated the mouse outside the house, and it hopped away happily.
Fortunately I still had two replacement mantles left, so now both Coleman are back to life.

Taking A Road Sign Seriously

Can’t keep your money together ? – Try Susu !

The Susu club is a universal feature of the Liberian workplace. Hardly any agency, trading firm, or NGO is without a Susu Club. The Susu club comes in two variety, the non-profit and the commercial. The non-profit is the more benign of the two. It is normally organized rather informally. The employees of a company, or even a section of a company agree to form a Susu club and will pay a certain amount of their salary to the club cashier every month. In an non-profit Susu, the percentage of the salary pledged tends to be higher than in a commercial Susu. The drivers of one NGO operating in Liberia pay 70 USD, about one third of their salary, into their Susu account every month. But every month one of them is the lucky one. He will receive the combined input of the other Susu members. In this particular Susu club the payout is 700 USD. The next month it is another persons term to collect the 700 USD. So, the Susu club is in effect, a revolving loan given by the paying members to the receiving member. The advantage for the member is that, once or twice a year, depending on the structure of the Susu club he gets paid 700USD instead of his regular salary of 250 USD. Since it is a non-profit, all the money paid in, is paid out every month. The commercial Susu on the other hand is operated by an individual who takes a healthy cut. As opposed to the non-profit Susu, you never get back all the money that you paid in. The operator of one commercial Susu, explained to me that if I had paid 8000 Liberian Dollars into his Susu, I could then get a “credit” of 7000 LD. The commercial Susu therefore resembles a tax on the stupid and gullible.
The appeal of Susu has long eluded me. I would understand the allure of Susu, if it were difficult to obtain a bank account. But the minimum deposit required to open a savings account with Ecobank in Monrovia is 10 USD, which is clearly in the reach of many, if not most, Susu members.
So, the main reason for paying into a Susu is that the members lack fiscal discipline, and spend whatever money they have on their hands. Mistrust in banks might also be at play,  but I would still rather give my money to a bank than to some individual. After all, what are his guarantees ?

Politically Incorrect Bumper Sticker

Those living in Monrovia have of course seen the original versions. They have the same colors blue and red, and spot uplifting messages like “Honest people expose corruption” ,  or , “Corruption is buying your grades”. But those living here also know, that the bumper stickers have not really succeeded in changing attitudes. So, as a public service Alieninlberia is proud to present an alternative bumper sticker, closer to the truth. And no, there is actually no Ministry of Bribery and Embezzlement here. But it could.

Check out the new page “The Gobachop Files” !

Today the first installment of the “Gopachop Files ” appears on this blog. Given the frequency of “gobachops” it will hopefully become a regular feature. Hopefully because of the entertainment value of the gobachops. This is for Liberia what “Ocean´s Eleven” is for the US. Enjoy !